I grew up in a rural area where the weather was harsh and affected daily life a lot, especially in the winter. The saying “there’s no such thing as bad weather; only inadequate clothing” was used sometimes. I was under the impression that it was something the Scandinavians said but who knows? If you’ve been out in bad weather then you’ll know that your comfort level, or even if you are able to tolerate it at all, is greatly affected by what you have on. Clothing gear varies significantly.
This saying applies to mental health as well. There’s no such thing as intolerable symptoms; only inadequate coping. So goes the victim blaming. It’s your fault that you’re not managing your symptoms: try harder! Do better! I have heard that from healthcare professionals and I hear it a lot in my head. It hurts and makes me want to hide away even more from shame. I should be trying harder. I should be doing better.
But there is some truth in the saying, if you genuinely remove the victim blaming. If you can learn better coping techniques or receive better treatment then your quality of life will improve. Nasty, brutish and short, that’s what life is apparently. I have had a very privileged life in many ways: the accident of birth into a stable(ish) Western country being the top one. But I have had many terrible experiences mainly to do with my mental illnesses. I want to talk about the bad things that have happened and the way I have dealt, and mostly not dealt, with them. Perhaps I can make some things somewhat better with better clothing. Because the weather is pretty fucking bad.