Another list

After the list I posted earlier today, and because I like to torture myself, here is a list of things I could do to rebuild my life and try again:

  • Get a dog or some other pet for company and love
  • Do a second day at the charity project I go to for more structure and company
  • Alternatively, or in addition to the above, volunteer to do something useful and try and build some self-esteem
  • Get a private psychologist and really talk and open up (I am very lucky that my obsessive need to control my spending, after getting into the worst kind of trouble in my twenties, has had the beneficial effect of allowing me to build up some savings. I am the only person I know of that has been this lucky.)
  • Start running again and be brave and try new routes but cancel the gym and admit I never enjoyed it
  • Do the Open University Access course I have been eyeing up for… uh… years to give me a little hope that I could possibly have a future
  • Get a tattoo and do the other recommended things to start reclaiming my body and stop despising it

Comparing this list with my earlier list: there are major areas not covered. I don’t think those things can be solved or ameliorated. Which is why I am eating nutella and butter sandwiches and booking a hotel.

A nutella and butter sandwich.

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